I too am a mother. My Ex and I also share the children 50-50. I will tell you that I too have tried very hard to imagine what goes through the child’s minds and hearts every Friday when they change households. My children are 15 13 and 9. And we have lived this way for 3 years. I know my children need their father. We each have now moved on and are in new relationships. I know that in the beginning we tried to have one family meal together a week. But it soon became apparent that it was giving the children false hope, to their parent getting back together. So we stopped.

So as loving parents who truly want the best for their children, we will try just about anything and everything to give the some happiness, in a time in their lives that everything in their world is changing.

Response from a Dad and a message to other Dads!

You are divorcing your ex, not your kids. Understand that and tell yourself over and over!
Now is the opportunity to really revere the time with your kids. Many dads in their marriage are so busy working to provide for their family, they don’t have the quality time with their kids that they would like or should have.
As a divorced dad, there are some real bonuses here when you spend time with your kids. Depending on the amount of time you get to spend with your kids, often the father has significantly less than half time. If this is the case for you, be the fun parent! You don’t need to take on the role of disciplinarian with the kids, just enjoy every moment you can with them and make it fun. Think what you would like your ideal dad to be and be that with your kids! Quality time takes on a whole new perspective when you only see your kids occasionally, so make the most of it!
Will they be all revved up when they go back to their mother? Possibly. Will your ex whine and complain that you are not disciplining them enough? Probably. Will the kids have a great time when they come to see you? Absolutely!
Now keep this in perspective! It is not a free for all to make your kids total psychos when they go back to the other parent, because that is not helpful for the welfare of the kids. What I’m talking about here is having FUN!! Do things with your kids and squeeze every bit of quality into the time you have with them.

I knew you’d disagree with that, Kim

I also agree with you that children DO need the man in their life to discipline them correctly, my perspective is about a dad BEING in their life in the first place. In many cases it’s a matter of developing the tools required to move TO that point.

Love your work x

Thanks for the kind words Kim. What I wrote was a small extract from a book I’m writing on the subject of Dads and divorce. I’d love you to review it when I’m finished.

Awesome!!