Dear Tiger Woods,
Happy 34th Birthday Tiger! I know it’s been a rough month for you. All your mistresses revealing themselves to the media and your cute wife and mother of your children moving out and hiring a divorce attorney who will surely get her a nice sweeeeet divorce settlement. We all know you have lost several endorsements and it’s reported this sex scandal has cost the sponsors sticking by your side over 12 billion dollars…guess it was smart of your wife Elin to bail before she started losing moolah too. Yeah, your reputation has hit rock bottom.
Well, Tiger, I’m here to tell you that not all is lost. I know what it’s like to turn 34 and in the midst of divorce. It sucks not to celebrate with a spouse for the first time since you’ve been married. I’m here to tell you that not all is lost. There’s only one day separating you from the new year, and this new year could be good for you. Since the last time you asked for advice from me things have changed. Okay, they’ve gotten progressively worse. Just because your life may seem hopeless doesn’t mean it will be that way forever. Kim Hess your Divorce Guru has some advice for you:
In 2010 let’s say you take care of yourself. Going through a divorce is hard. Really hard. Be nice to your wife when negotiating alimony and child support. Be a good dad to your kids and let them know they have nothing to do with your divorce. See them as much as you can. Give them hugs and tell them Daddy loves them. Take at least a year before you start dating again. I know, I know, that’s tough, but you’ve been kind of a glutton with the “dating” scene. Take some time to find out WHY you messed up your marriage so your future will be good. And I know today is your birthday, but no bimbosladies on your yacht. I suggest you meditate and listen to all of my radio shows on Energy Talk Radio. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll probably say, “Damn, that Kim Hess Divorce Guru is smart.”
Happy Birthday Tiger Woods and Happy New Year 2010. You can turn this challenge into a triumph! I did it, and so can you!
Keep your head up and your swing (golf!) golden
Happy Birthday Tiger Woods
Kim Hess Divorce Guru
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