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That seems to be rolling off the lips of every young white woman in America.  Since I’m not (that) young, or white, I can’t say this.  But I can say that I’ve had an affair.  Just not with Tiger Woods.  Though the greedy part of me wishes I had so I could get a payoff of a million bucks to keep my mouth shut.  As if!

Okay, fans, readers, listeners, your Divorce Guru is gonna get serious.

I did have an affair. With a married man.  I’m not proud of it.  I ended it after 3 months of lust, guilt, love, and shame.  I’m finally coming clean about it because of

• The Tiger Woods scandal
• Elin Nordegren Woods (Tiger’s wife)
• You
• Me

Let me start.  I fell in love with an old flame from college.  He stated his marriage was far from perfect.  I stated that I wouldn’t fall in love and that I was hurting no one.  I ended it after 3 months because I realized that I did fall in love, I was hurting people, and he wouldn’t be able to improve his marriage, if Kim was lurking in the background as fallback girl.

The Tiger Woods scandal showed me that no man who truly loved and respected his wife would cheat…maybe once, maybe twice but long lasting relationships?  No. (Same holds true for wives.)

Elin Nordegren Woods put a face to the wife “who doesn’t understand me.”  If she doesn’t understand you get out of the marriage and find someone who does.  Is it fair to have both at the same time with the wife being in the dark? At least clue her in so she can have a piece on the side.  Oh, don’t like the idea of your wife sleeping with another man?  Of course you don’t. Neither does she.

You:  I can not be an “open book” willing to use my life as an example of joy, spirituality, and honesty if I am lying to myself and to all of you who read this blog, my writings, and listen to my radio show.  Time to come clean.

Me:   “Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.”- Walter Anderson

The most difficult risks I have always taken are when I’m honest with myself.  I was honest with myself about my marriage not working and I had to be honest with myself that there was no future with a man already married to another.  Not a future I wanted anyway.

So it’s out, no affair with Tiger Woods, but alas I’m not perfect.  Not my ex-lover, not his wife, not my ex-husband, not his mistress turned girlfriend, not Tiger Woods, not anyone.  No one’s perfect and that’s okay.

 And that’s being honest.