Happy Anniversary…You’re Divorced!

Happy (Divorced) Anniversary!

Today is the anniversary of the day I pledged to God and the world that I would love my husband “til death do us part.” There goes that pledge! I think God and the world should be congratulating me on breaking that pledge…if I would have kept the vow “til death do us part” I would be writing this article from death row in a woman’s maximum security prison! I assumed this would be a hard day for me to get through having been separated for almost a year and in and out of court for messy divorce proceedings. In fact, I didn’t even remember that my anniversary was upon me until last night around 8:00. I’ve talked to people who are divorced and they tell me they dread this day like they dread the holidays spent alone or bathing suit shopping. Me, I have more important things to dread…like my favorite bakery running out of strawberry crèam cheese croissants before I get there!

I’ve decided to take a different approach to the day. I’m actually rejoicing. I loved being married. I loved always having a date for Friday night, having someone tell me I was loved, someone to snuggle up to at night. I’m using my wedding anniversary as a celebration of the happiness and love I felt for my spouse during our relationship (just like I celebrate the day I filed for divorce and had him served!) No more happiness and love, but also no more fighting and betrayal. Not as much fun as my wedding day mind you. No flowers, no cake, no gifts. So far no one has given me an envelope with cash in it (to those who do want to give me an envelope with cash in it my email address is khdivorceguru@gmail.com and I gladly accept personal checks!) No fun dress shopping or champagne to celebrate this day. But I accept all the good times I had with my ex as well as I am forced to deal with all the bad times I had with my ex.

If I could, I would flip through my wedding album exclaiming to my children how happy and in love their parents were and how much I was glad that day happened. So why don’t I flip through that wedding album with all those glorious pictures of me and my ex in love? Because he’s confiscated all memories of our blissful day. Is it spite, anger, or punishment? I can only hope and pray he’s done this because he holds dear our wedding memories. Maybe today he is flipping through our wedding album remembering what fun that day was and how glad he is that we got married. I doubt his new girlfriend will be thrilled with this idea but I sometimes try to think the best about people… yeah whatever, he’s probably cut my beautiful, glowing, youthful face out of all of our photos and replaced them with the Wicked Witch of the West’s mug shot. Still I try to imagine the best!

My point is don’t shun your wedding anniversary date. Use this day to celebrate that you were once in love…and that you have the great fortune not to keep celebrating this anniversary with someone who you were not meant to be with “til death do you part”! Or you might be reading this from death row in a maximum security prison! I thank God I only had seven anniversaries and not seventy! Happy Anniversary to me!