Dating with children...you go girl(s)!
“Okay, so Billy, we are going out with a really nice man who mommy really likes. Don’t tell him anything about what I look like in the morning or how I can really put away an entire birthday cake with just a fork and a can of Diet Coke. And don’t tell him about the date we went on last week, where you threw up all over mommy’s other nice man. Okey, dokey, ready to go sweetie?”
As I tried to make that humorous, it dawned on me that some people probably actually DO take their children on dates. Uh, do I really have to say that that is DEAD WRONG?! It is. Don’t do that. Okay, back to the blog post…
Most people who are newly divorced or single wonder who would want to date them because they have children. Okay, not most people…ALL people newly divorce or single think that at one time or another. I think it’s pretty obvious that there are quite a few men who do not want to date you if you have kids. I say men because I don’t see too many women turning down men with kids-maternal instinct or desperation to snag a man? Different topic!
When I first started dating I cruised the online sites. 5 men out of 10 specifically stated: “NO KIDS!” which I didn’t understand at all. What did they think the kid is mandated by law to accompany mommy on all dates (little Billy in the above date?”) Or maybe a woman with kids wouldn’t have time to date him as much as he wanted (yeah, cause guys just LOVE to see the woman they’re dating every day…please notice my sarcasm.) Or maybe they want the uterus of the woman they’re dating to be untouched and pristine like a rippling lake on a clear summer’s day. What? I don’t know what the men who don’t date women with children are thinking! Either way, you don’t want that man anyway. Why? Cause he would’ve only taken you out 2 times before begging for sex. And he would’ve been cheap. I know.
So if you think no one wants you because you are dating with children you must stop this thinking and right away! There is more to you than being a parent. You are a man or a woman who is one sexy mofo who does more than take little Billy to soccer practice and wipe his snotty nose. You like beer, and strip clubs, and a good round of Scrabble (and yes, little Billy will be our imaginary kid with a single parent today.)
The second thing to remember is that there are many people more than willing to date a person with kids. (Remember those maternal/desperate women I mentioned earlier?) But all jokes aside, these people may be single parents, have grown ass kids who are adults, don’t have kids but like them or just don’t give a damn if you have kids or not as long as it don’t interfere with their mc-lovin.
You deserve to have fun and date and get your groove on. Just like Stella. She had a kid.
Feel good about who you are. Could you lose a few pounds? Need a decent haircut? Need to rock some lip gloss? Get rid of the mom jeans, I don’t care how comfortable they are…they ain’t gonna get you a man! And fellas, cut the nails and trim the nose and ear hairs. Ewww.
Now just because I’m telling you to date, don’t mean you can go off willy nilly and not care fo you chillen. (that’s the ghetto Kim talking. Learned it from my ex’s family.)
It’s important to make sure your kids are taken care of physically and emotionally, just like you have to take care of yourself physically or emotionally. Don’t put your wants, needs, and desire to have wild, crazy sex date on on hold.
Remember your kids are watching you. If they see you unhappy and unfulfilled you are inadvertenly teaching them that this is the way to live their lives. Get rid of the guilt and get your freak on. Get.Your.Freak.On.
For your kids to be happy, you must be happy. Have fun with dating. It might take off slowly and I guarantee that every date will not be a match made in heaven…but go have some fun. Gaining confidence which in turn will result in “knowing you’re all that” will be of benefit to you and your younguns. Go get em tiger!
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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
What about dating at the playground when you don’t have any kids of your own? Do you have any tip? Is it really unethical to borrow a nephew from the family and pretend he’s yours only to have monkey sex with a hot mom or does the end justify the means?
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