Man writes to me to say penis size DOES matter

I received this question from a reader a few weeks ago and thought we could all learn from his email:

Dear Kim:

I was browsing through your site and saw a video that stuck out to me which was the does size matter video and i agree with you’re response that it definitely does. I am a male in my 20′s and this subject is a big deal to me. I don’t find it difficult to attract women as I’m tall, dark and handsome but I have one big (little) problem. My penis isn’t the thickest and barely touching 5 inches hard whilst erect if that if I’m truly honest, I know I am little in that area and women have told me this. I’ve read lots of women say it doesn’t matter and it’s the motion etc but I know first hand that when you take your pants down infront of a woman and she is holding back the giggles it definitely does matter. So since you made it obviously clear in the video that it does matter to you, my question is why does it? both physically and mentally, do you see men who are short in that area as less manly or a joke? because I know women i have had relations in the past have and also how can I make up for my shortcomings? if that’s even possible. Ok now i know that’s three questions rather than one but i would just like to know what you think. I am asking you because you seem like a honest straight talking woman and I really don’t need the “oh don’t worry about it, size isn’t an issue” bs you get on other relationship websites. I just want the honest truth from a female and advice if there is any way I can compensate for my problem.

I hope to hear back from you, John*

***

Dear John,

First let’s get this statistic out of the way. You mention your penis size is “barely 5″ erect.” The average size erect penis according to AskMen.com is between “5.5 inches and 6.2 inches in length and 4.7 inches and 5.1 inches in girth.”

I mention this because the average penis size is much smaller than most people would think. I’ve gotta admit, that I was shocked by this statistic! That being said John, you’re only a few centimeters off from having a pretty average size penis.

Now on to your questions. You ask why size matters to me. I think this preference comes from…a preference. Just like some people like guys with blonde hair, or men with locks, or muscular men, or men with facial hair, or men with dark skin-it’s just what some women like.

When talking to other women they say size matters. But their size that matters may be 5″ whereas my preference might be 8″. Some women don’t really care, they just want a man who is a great partner and or lover, and to be a great lover does not require a larger than average penis. And for those of you out there who possess larger than average size penises, just being big does NOT make you a great lover!

Do I see men who are smaller than what I want as less than? Heck no!
There is so much more to a man than his penis size! Are they less manly. No. I think confidence and responsibility make a man manly. His penis size is just a great bonus like whip cream on a milkshake!

Now your next question: how to compensate for your size. John, you’re in your twenties, able to attract the ladies, and bold enough to ask a black female blogger about penis size! My opinion: keep doing what you’re doing. Let me first say that any woman (girl) who giggles when you’re getting ready to make love to her, is a woman you don’t want in your bed! My suggestion to you is not to compensate for your size, but to accentuate it. Learn about tantra, learn how to pleasure women through oral sex and massage, learn how to romance your woman with words etc.

Sex is soooo mental for women so if you know what you’re doing mentally and physically to please her, the size of your penis is going to be the last thing on her mind.

Speaking with two male friends separately about your letter they told me that men worry way too much about penis size…kind of how women worry too much about breast size. They told me as they got older (both are in late thirties) they realized that the women they encountered cared way less about their genitalia size than they did. So they let the worry go.

John, sweetie, new friend, let go of the worry about size and concentrate on pleasure, joy, and romance with that penis of yours.

*name changed to protect privacy

Tagged as: dear john, email, girth, honest truth, infront, john dear, joke, penis size, relationship websites, shortcomings, size matter, statistic