this is not my ex mother in law but close to it in a wig
I am gearing up to launch the fabulous new book that Mike the MasterDater and I have been working on forever! It’s being edited and now the marketing is starting up.
With the marketing, I came across many articles that state that there is life after divorce. Me, being a Divorce Guru, and a strong advocate of living a better life after divorce, read these words with the realization that having a great life after your marriage is gone takes constant work.
Dr. Phil’s article stated some marvelous points like getting out of denial, stopping the negative chatter in our minds, being an example to your kids and getting on with your life. Silly me, I thought you did all this stuff for a couple of weeks, maybe months, and you’d be all better.
No.
You do all this stuff for years, possibly for the rest of your life to feel better and have a wonderful life after divorce. I’m realizing that healing is a long process. And that long process gives you plenty of time to work on yourself and this wonderful (and sometimes not so wonderful) gift we call life.
Let me give you an example. My ex-husband’s mother in law is in town. I found this out because my son called me to ask for the wig shop I go to (ahem, you KNOW Kim Hess be rockin’ some fly hair…it’s mine, I bought it!) I perkily obliged giving my son the locations of the places where I get my hair on (wigs, extensions, ponytails, for those of you who don’t have a black woman in their life!) Though the last time I talked to my ex’s mom was almost 3 years ago while she was accusing me of being selfish, and ruining a good thing (our marriage though she knew her son was cheating) I was happy to help out in her hair crisis.
Until she calls me directly today. Life after divorce is a situation in which you are always learning, always healing. Ex mom in law left me a message asking for the wig place again. Really? What? We ain’t cool like that! You haven’t talked to me in 3 years, talked trash about me in our hometown (my ex and I were born and raised in the same city) and you now want to call me up about some wig? I let it go to voicemail, never returning her call. Trust me, it’s better that way.
Like I said life after divorce is a long process of healing. She was calling me about the wig because her son, my ex-husband and father to my two children is getting married today. Guess she wants to look fly.
So is a good, healthy, happy life after divorce possible? Very possible. I am always working on the healing while loving myself and my children, and living a life of passion and joy. This is what life after divorce should be like.
Related posts:
- Life after divorce: wonder what you saw in your ex in the first place?
- Hello world, your Divorce Guru has arrived!
- Divorce, Women, and Success Series: Lynnda Ell
- Life After Divorce: The Holiday Edition
- Divorce, Women, and Success Series: Nancy Weil
JUN
About the Author:
Kim is the co-author of "From Ex to Next! An Empowered Woman's Guide to Dating After Breakup or Divorce." She is also the host of "Divorce Guru" radio show host, as well as the National Divorce columnist for the Examiner.com Kim lives in San Francisco, CA and is the proud mother of two very energetic, very wonderful boys.