This post is a part of Divorce Guru’s “Divorce, Women, and Success” series. For the next few months I will profile women who have achieved the bulk of their success after divorce to provide you with hope,motivation and inspiration that you too can succeed in life after divorce!
Yours in success!
-Kim Hess Divorce Guru
Hope After Heartache
there is always hope
“Until death do us part,” went the vows that I made. I believed that would be the case and I lived knowing that I would always be married. Sometimes it does not take a death to cause the parting, just two lawyers and a lot of money. In my case I went through a very difficult divorce after twenty years of marriage. I actually asked for the divorce on the day before our twentieth anniversary! I tell people that the warranty ran out.
The truth was that I realized that if I was unable to make him happy after twenty years, it was unlikely to happen in the next twenty. Some people just don’t want to be happy… I do. Now it was no longer my job to spend my time trying to figure out a way to make him happy. Just writing it I can see the absurdity in the concept, but at that time in my life I was sure that somewhere it was within me to find a way to lead him towards joy.
The first thing I learned was that if you work with your husband and you ask for a divorce, you will lose your job! That was only one of the things I lost. I also lost my house, my kids half the time, my friends, even my dog! I felt like my basket had been emptied and I trusted that God would help me find a way to fill it again.
So, I started over. I went back to college and got my degree in business. I found a job that I love. I made new friends, started a wonderful relationship and pursued new interests. I went to a therapist who helped me to find myself again after so many years of emotional abuse. I relied upon my faith and explored my spirituality. Through this I discovered my gifts as a medium and spiritual teacher. I became an expert on the benefits of laughter and I found my calling in helping people who are grieving a loss. I also realized that I am not responsible for anyone’s happiness but my own. When people ask how I am, I always answer “fabulous” or “terrific” or any other superlative that comes to mind. While I may not always feel that way at the moment, I continue to focus on what I want and what I want is to feel good. Nothing has been handed to me. I have had to work hard to get to where I am today and that includes working hard to find my own path to happiness.
Nancy Weil is a nationally known speaker in the area of humor and grief. Through her business, The Laugh Academy, Nancy teaches her clients how to apply laughter in their daily lives in order to bring about immediate, positive changes. She is an internationally known psychic medium and spiritual teacher who offers consultations in person or by phone. To learn more about the services and products that Nancy offers, visit her website: www.thelaughacademy.com
Related posts:
- Divorce, Women, and Success Series: Lynnda Ell
- Divorce, Women, and Success Series: Sascha Rothchild
- Divorce, Women, and Success Series: Julie Stokes
- Divorce and Women’s Success Series: Sonia Pressman Fuentes
- Video: Women to run the hell away from!
FEB
About the Author:
Kim is the co-author of "From Ex to Next! An Empowered Woman's Guide to Dating After Breakup or Divorce." She is also the host of "Divorce Guru" radio show host, as well as the National Divorce columnist for the Examiner.com Kim lives in San Francisco, CA and is the proud mother of two very energetic, very wonderful boys.