I’m sick. So sick that I didn’t leave my house for 2 days, and when I did it was to stumble out of my apartment and across the street to buy overpriced Nyquil, Gatorade, and a yogurt for 20 bucks. I was so thankful that they had Nyquil and I wouldn’t have to walk the 6 bIocks to the drugstore that I didn’t even get mad at the ridiculous amount of money I just paid to the bandits at the corner store (who are great guys who are just trying to make a buck like the rest of us, and don’t snicker or ask if I have a hot date when I come into their store at 8pm on a Friday night and stock up on ice cream, cookies and chips!)
Anyway, because I was sick, I was moaning to myself the fact that I’m alone and sick. Everyone I know has someone to get them Nyquil and warm up soup for them. Everyone but me. I’m sick, woe is me. Yeah, I was being a crybaby. It was more than the fact that no one was there to comfort me through my stuffed up nose and hacking cough…it was more the thought that no one cared.
Of course that wasn’t true. If you let yourself just sit with the emotion you can really see where our mind and rationalizing takes us. No where good my friend, nowhere good.
My producer David texted me wishing me well, my sister called to make sure I hadn’t overdosed on Gatorade (don’t laugh it’s happened to me before! ), a friend calling to tell me he’d be more than happy to come take my temperature w/ a warm thermometer (!), my dad telling me to slow down, not work so hard, and had I gotten a flu shot this year? My mom diligently listening to my shows and stating how great they are (that’s a hint for you to go listen NOW to Kim Hess Divorce Guru on Energy Talk Radio). My soulmate calling to say offer me love and compassion. My biz partner emailing me sympathy. My boys telling me to feel better. Lots of people care. Lots of people love me.
The point of my whining is if you let your mind go off to that place of ” No one loves me, no one cares, I’m going to grow old alone, I should have stay married because at least someone would be there for me…” let it. Let your mind have these thoughts. Then quietly sit with them. Ask yourself…”Is all this true?” You will quickly realize the answer just as I did. I quickly realized that in this moment I had everything I needed. Nyquil. Gatorade. Orange juice. Belly full of take out pizza. Warm covers. Hot shower. Seinfeld re-runs. People I love. Roof over my head. Comfy slippers on my feet. Cough drops. A minor flu versus major good health. Did I need a lover right at this moment? No, for what, to watch me blow my nose sexily? Did I really need someone to feed me soup? Of course it would have been too hot!
I have everything I need in this moment. And so do you. Take care and be well.
